Nothing like a good read with some good ‘ol Lay’s to keep me company. Oh, and look! I found a heart-shaped Lay’s chip.
Yeah. I’m definitely bored.
Paulo Coelho once said, “when we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”
So yes, I do believe in change. It’s just a matter of how much you are willing to change and who you are willing to change for. It may be for yourself or for someone else. Still, there’s change. And eventually, in the end, change would be the only thing that will make everything either far worse or better.
This is the part where choices come in and decisions are made. Like it or not, whatever choices you make WILL change you. No one is asking you to do it. Heck, no one needs to because people change. Everything changes.
Striving, adapting, adjusting. These are just synonymous terms for change. And these are the very words that accompany love. I can’t believe not a lot of people realize that.
We only have two choices in love for change. It’s either you change together or you change apart.
It’s so nice to read old letters and text messages from you. They never fail to make me smile and laugh. And I realized that I want to read more of them. I want you to write sweet nothings for me again. I want you to text me and tell me about your day and ask about mine.
I’ve been seeking for…
Apparently, I didn’t think you would do what you just did when I wrote this. Stupid me.
When I was twelve, I wonder why they say weddings mean so much for a girl. I thought the opposite. I found it boring and just not appealing.
When I was nineteen, I attended my cousin’s wedding. Then I realized why it is what people say it is.
In that wedding, the groom sang while the bride walked toward him in the altar. It was such a breathtaking sight that I envisaged having one beautiful and romantic wedding for myself, too.
Since then, I was always in the hunt for that perfect song. The song that would to go with our wedding film. The song that would walk me down the aisle. The song that we would be dancing to on our first dance. And the songs that would play all through out our reception.
I’ve been saving love songs because I wanted a happy ever after kind of wedding (and life, I suppose). But that’s not the way it goes, I now realize that.
I’ve been saving love songs. But I was saving for all the wrong reasons.
I had been saving love songs. But not anymore.
In love, there comes a time when one just have to let go. Now, I know it’s very cliche but you’ll never really realize how true this statement is until you have experienced it first hand.
I have. And still am.
It’s excruciatingly painful, yes. And to think that it’s only just begun. I can’t let it eat me up, though. I can’t let it consume the life out of me.
All day, all that this has gotten me are swollen eyes and a disturbed mind.
Thinking it through, I’ve made a very bad decision. Actions like those are never to be forgiven. Persons like him should never be taken back. I should’ve ended it right there and then. No second chances. No turning back. But alas and again, I let the heart decide and did the opposite.
Make it right. I tell myself.
And that’s just what I’m going to do. Or at least try to. For now.
P.S. I should probably be updating my sidebar already.
Whatever happened to this? :|
Being the bum that I am, my life [right now] revolves around books, the internet, and the occasional television. And since I’ve finished reading some of the ones I borrowed and a few bought, I’ve been dying to buy a new one. So when I went out the other day, I kind of lingered in Booksale before going straight home hoping to find a good read.
Fortunately and to my heart’s delight, I happen to chance on Ahern’s P.S. I Love You, bought it immediately, and went home completely satisfied. It was then to this moment that my mind’s made up: Cecelia Ahern tops my heroine list. She writes about melancholy with such warmth and positivity that one is left with so much optimism every time one finishes a chapter.
P.S. I Love You gives me the kind of sadness I’d allow myself to wallow in. It was full of hysterics in between sobs which makes it even harder to put down. The film already got me hooked the first time I’ve seen it, but the novel clearly got me glued.
So here I am enjoying every page of it, reading carefully so as not to miss a word. One cannot just afford to.
We looked drunk. But let me tell you we weren’t. It just so happen to be our Make-up Day. And on Make-up Days we like taking photos of ourselves with extremely blinding flash.
Getting a TIN months ago was stressful enough, updating/cancelling/whatever they want me to do now is even worse!
I went to my RDO yesterday in the hope of updating my TIN which I was expecting to last for just a few minutes. Turns out, it is more complicated than I though it was. When I registered the first time, I was under “self-employment” because of the kind of work I was doing then. Now that I’m having a new one, They want me to cancel my previous registration and then register again but this time it’s under “local employment”. The BIR is requiring me to write a letter request for cessation of registration and give them a copy of a COE from the company I am currently with [which makes it much harder ‘cause the company won’t give me one! But that’s another story.]
Seriously? You’re requiring me to pay the taxes yet you won’t make it any easier for me to do it. F*&^ irony.
that I have the most thoughtful friends I could ever wish for. And I’m very thankful that I met each one of them. I’ve received unexpected text messages today. And they made me realize how blessed I am with having such good friends.
I thought of writing this just this morning. It is because of a couple I saw while I rode the jeepney. A memory of someone came rushing to me at once. I don’t know why, really.I shouldn’t be thinking of him, I mean It is almost THREE years now, I should somehow move on and go on with my life, right? This is so ironic!
Well, anyways, here it goes…
It felt like I was drawn into a completely different world, and I even dreamt that it was a scene from a very romantic movie! (Probably ‘coz I’m a hopeless romantic„ ;-p ) My brother and I were just leaving the mall. We rode a jeepney already when, out of nowhere, I heard someone calling my name out loud. I knew it sounded familiar so I looked out the window. Realized it was him and I felt so confused, ‘coz we were together a couple of minutes earlier. It took me some time to notice he was holding a box until he handed it to me.
“what is it?”
“A perfume. I promise you I’d give you something, right?”
“Oh! Thanks,” was all I can say. (stupid answer, huh?)
We didn’t have much time to talk because the jeepney is moving already. And besides, I really don’t want to say much either. It was so awkward— my brother was there and he saw the whole ”drama”, PLUS all eyes were on us! And the people in the jeepney kept staring at me long after that incident (but it’s not really an incident, though. I just don’t know how the hell will I put it.) And it all ended right there and then…
It really is ironic. I thought, back then, we would last forever.Guess forever isn’t forever after all.I still see him, though—in corridors, the canteen, the university chapel. I can’t believe that I haven’t let go of him completely yet.I’m still bounded by the bitter sweet memories of the past.
I still could not believe it.
It seems like yesterday when I first walked in the FDC office and the rehearsal room. Practicing. Making a good impression. Trying my best. Learning. Being a probee.
But it was last night when I finally became a part of, not just an ordinary group, but a family. I am ecstatic and relieved to know that I am an official member of Filipiniana. All the hard work and late night rehearsals— not to mention the eye bags and pimples I’ve had— paid off.
Now, here I am, reminiscing, indulging in all those great times and memories I’ve had with the batch 15 and FDC seniors when I was a probee. Although I am a member, my being a probee doesn’t stop there.I will always be a probee in heart— learning, trying, doing, and improving.I will never ever forget this experience!